President:
Ted Dexter Esq. CBE
Vice Presidents:
Nigel Allsop Esq.
Simon Barnes Esq.
Major T.A. Bird DSO,
MC Graham Chandler Esq.,
Lady Dowding
Phil Edmonds Esq.,
Tony Fisher Esq.
Ernest J. Franklin Esq.
Andrew J. Fraser Esq.
CMG Sir Alistair Horne CBE
Nicholas J. Jenkins Esq.
Boris Johnson
Rt. Hon. John Major
Count Alexander Schouvaloff
Doug Walters Esq.
Bruno Wollheim Esq.
Hon. Vice President
The late Keith Miller Esq. MBE
[“Pressure? I’ll tell you what
pressure is. Pressure is a
Messerschmitt up your arse.
Pressure is not playing
cricket]
2012 Season
Welcome to the V&A Cricket Club (est. 1975), a club that plays friendlies at beautiful Stonor in Oxfordshire, and which welcomes new players of any ability.
Next Match
V&A v NATIONAL THEATRE
STONOR, MAY 19, 2012
BIRD N, JULKA, JONKERS, BOWDEN [SKIP], DE CAIRES, JACOT, BIRD TOM, PETER KIRKHAM, MORRIS, WOLLHEIM
Match Report
V&A v HERMITS
MAY 12 2012, STONOR
BIRD N [SKIP], JULKA, JONKERS, BOWDEN, DE CAIRES, JACOT, PRITCHARD-GORDON, BIRD TOM, WARMAN J, PETER KIRKHAM, WOLLHEIM
Bruno returned. He can only field in the slips nowadays, having long since ceased to run or throw overarm. But he elevates the conversation behind the wicket, with talk of Vorticism and Dada, rather than the usual filth. However, memories of the old Bruno came flooding back when a gentle lofted catch was misjudged and plopped harmlessly at his feet.
Lovely day. The HERMITS first played against us in 1976. They were young and virile and not yet decimated by substance abuse. I am afraid that the team that Terry Blake, their skipper, put together lacked the old élan.
But he did magnificently to get a team at all, after being 7 on Wednesday. Many oppositions would have pulled the plug but in the end he got 12!
I was skip and won the toss and elected to bat. Peter Kirkham and Nick Pritchard-Gordon opened against a decent attack. Peter swept a nice 4 before succumbing to the curse of Stonor, the ball that stops and is gently skied for a dolly of a catch. Nick rode his luck, and was dropped a couple of times. But in came Dennis and as so often happens, after a hesitant start began to dominate. He and Nick, soon playing with fluency (a shot picked off his legs for 4 was memorable) scored consistently at 7 an over, and a big score loomed. At lunch Dennis had reached 50, including three enormous 6s, one nearly decapitating Martin who was scoring.
Lunch was provided by myself, predictable fare, eschewing the fancy dan Rupert Morris guacamole type of stuff. Sarah was in Yorkshire attending a wedding, pathetic excuse for absenteeism. Apparently it was her younger son getting married, but her plea of mitigation was rejected.
When Nick and Dennis returned to the crease they continued their onslaught until the 100 partnership came up. The Hermits lacked a couple of bowlers and Terry and a chap called Trew went for 10 an over. Their catching was pretty poor. Nick was the beneficiary. At one point he lobbed up the easiest of dollies to first slip (Tony Walters). A rheumatoid amoeba would have caught it. But Tony dropped it. For some reason Nick decided to run. Dennis stayed put. Second slip, upon gauging the situation picked up the ball (Tony lay prostrate in shame) and pondered what to do. Nick, at the other end, realised his mistake and rather forlornly began the journey back to his rightful position from whence he started. The fielder had time aplenty to throw the ball to the wicketkeeper for a simple run out. But instead chose to amble toward the wicket with ball in hand. He did not make it in time.
Dennis (71) and Nick (47) rather gave their wickets away, keen to force the pace and aware of batting to come. But then the run rate stuttered, despite Tom doing what he does best, coming in and getting quick runs to deep mid wicket, or cow corner as it is vulgarly known.
Jake (a most welcome return of the Prodigal), Martin, Adam and Bruno (showing his class in the drive) all tried to up the tempo but in the end we were out for 199 when at one time 230 looked likely.
Was it enough? The Hermits started quite slowly. Or to put it another way, very very slowly. Partly due to Dennis whose four overs went for 3 runs. Sunil opened the other end and his first four overs went for only 13, and included an agile caught and bowled (though he missed a couple later).
The Hermits staggered along at 2 an over, inexplicably never attempting to throw the bat. Terry, their one star batsman, had modestly put himself down the order, a mistake perhaps. Strangely, we caught some rather good catches. Jake caught Terry (another ball spooned up because of the pudding of a pitch), Martin caught two (one particularly photogenic left handed catch at gully), Christiaan caught a skier turning and twisting acrobatically, Bird N caught a simple one behind the wicket (or he made it look simple).
Every field change and every bowling change brought wickets. Martin got three wickets for 4 runs off his four overs. Sunil picked up 4 wickets in his second spell, narrowly missing a hat trick (all his wickets were unseen by his girlfriend who was washing up). Christiaan got 1 wicket for 9 runs off six overs, Nick P-G bowled a tight five overs. As their innings sputtered towards the abject, it seemed churlish to ask Jake to bowl, a man who can deliver at pace and with venom. But I asked him to bowl his tweakers, thinking this might offer respite to the opposition, one does not want to kick a man when he is down (though Iain Macleod once said, why not? It is the best time). Yet even this act of mercy brought wickets. Jake bowled two off breaks which hit middle stump. And that was that. All out for 62.
Sunil was applauded off for a fine performance of 5 for 27 off 6 overs. It could have been 7 wickets if he had held two catches off his own bowling.
Although the match was never close the day was mostly sunny, and agreeable. We went afterwards to the new pub in Stonor, the Quince Tree, which may lack olde worlde charm but is near and sells local beer made in Marlow. Bruno showed us his DVD [David Hockney: A Bigger Picture, Coluga Pictures, available from Amazon], and Adam told of his current ruse to keep the bailiff at bay. He writes for inflight magazines, for KLM and Air Namibia [Flamingo magazine] among others. For the former, as a noted etymologist he explains the meaning of the Malay word Bongking: sprawling face down with your bottom in the air. It describes Peter Linthwaite in the field perfectly.
Nicky Bird
The V&A scorer, alert, meticulous...
20.09.2008
Download PDF of match pictures »
17.08.2008
Download PDF of match pictures »
05.07.2008
Download PDF of match pictures »
Club Sponsor
